Texting of the Bread review


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Since first hearing about Texting of the Bread, the work of ScrewAttack.com, we have made the conscious decision to steer clear of the words ‘useful’ and ‘educational’ for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, Texting of the Bread is only slightly educational, certainly not wholly. Secondly, as there is such a stigma attached to the word ‘educational’ that would put off most gamers, we thought it best to avoid using the word. This is not a game you should skip over for fear of it being useful, it just happens to be the byproduct.

Crying over spilt milk

In texting of the Bread, the idea is to keep safe from hordes of sinister, menacing gingerbread men. Your weapon? Why, a cow gun that launches milk, of course. Silly you for asking.

The idea is to type the word or letters above the different types of gingerbread men heading your way. Once typed, the enemy vanishes into a pile of crumbs, allowing you able to tackle the next one, and so on.

You would be forgiven for thinking things would get repetitive, but that is not the case. On the contrary, Texting of the Bread is incredibly addictive and compelling from start to finish.

Some gingerbreads require you to type out words like ‘hungry’, ‘pacifist’, or other long dictionary words; others simply need some good old text / internet speak like ‘lol’, ‘wtfomfgbbq’ or ‘rolfcoptor’. And, usually, each level follows some sort of theme with regards to the words that flow your way. One example is dedicated to colours, another all about how the gingerbread men are going to eat your ‘braaaains’.

Those who dislike ‘text speech’ with a passion will find the mix of words hard to swallow but as we said, this game is not meant to be educational. Whilst it will help with the spelling and reading of some words, it is the practice in using a touch keyboard that is the real benefit and what you are typing matters little in this case.

Once you have the paratrooping biscuits, and the venom spitting evil-doers charging your way, very fast, accurate typing is the only way you will get a moments solace, and you will reap the benefits of speedier digits after extended playtime.


Texting of the Bread won’t win any graphical achievement awards, but its unsophisticated visuals compliment the comical voiceover comments that arise at the start of each level. Everything is best described as one biscuit short of a packet, which gives Texting of the Bread tremendous character. It does not take itself too seriously, and we find that likable.

Un-sophistication in its looks does not mean the developer has created an unintelligent game, though. The presentation is top notch, and the creepy, suspense-building soundtrack, although not that varied, really sets the mood.

To give Texting of the Bread some competitive play, leaderboards ensure your score can square off against a friend for bragging rights. Whilst we would have loved some sort of two-player mode, setting new hi-scores is almost as addictive.

There are also three modes on offer: Arcade lets you play through the many, many levels of biscuit mayhem, Survival lets you see just how good you are against unlimited enemies and Freeplay lets you play a level you have beaten – Easy, Normal and Hard difficulty levels for each ensure a variety of skill levels are taken care of.

Can’t catch me…

Simply put, Texting of the Bread is of the best iPhone experiences we have had in a while. It is simple, addictive and boasts frantic gameplay that makes it hard not to push towards the final bosses and showdown in every bit of spare time you get.

Not everyone will appreciate typing out words for fun, but those who look past what sounds like such an incredibly dull premise will find a hugely tasty experience that is well worth sinking your teeth into, and one that may just prove benneficial, too.

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