We’ve all been in a situation where someone is engaging us in a mind-numbingly dull conversation but social etiquette dictates that you can’t merely walk away; to do so would be the height of rudeness, even though enduring the tiresome chatter is a painfully unpleasant experience.
Thank goodness for mobile technology, then. As always, there’s an Android app for getting out of such loathsome predicaments, and it’s called Fake-Call Me. As the title suggests, it offers a sure-fire excuse to bring an unwanted conversation to a premature end – a pressing telephone call.
Fake-Call Me allows you to schedule a bogus call after any time period from 5 seconds to 5 minutes. You can even create a longer time, if you so wish. It’s even possible to input the name of the person who will be ‘calling’ you (the default name is ‘The President’, although you may wish to change that if you want to maintain the facade) or you can merely select a caller from your phone book to add that all-important air of authenticity (just make sure you don’t accidentally select the person with whom you’re trying to cut short your chat).
Multiple calls can also be scheduled, so if you want to let the monotonous chatter down lightly you can refuse to take the first call and then take the second, to make it seem like the call is urgent and cannot wait.
Because Fake-Call Me uses the standard Android call interface, there really is no way of the other person knowing unless they happen to wrestle the phone from your sweaty palms. It even plays a pre-recorded voice when you accept the call, so the person you’re with will assume there is really someone else on the end of the line.
The deception goes further than that, too. Fake calls are added to your call log, so if for some reason the other party doubts the validity of your telephone chat, you can put your call log forward as evidence.
The only problem is that you have to engage the app before the fake call can be made, and unless you’ve anticipated the upcoming chat and can set it up before it starts, you’ll need to covertly open up Fake-Call Me and initiate it during the conversation – which could raise the suspension of the other party.
Granted, Fake-Call Me is sneaky, nefarious and entirely disrespectful to the person who is innocently attempting to make chit-chat with you, but it does offer a relatively painless way of cutting short an awkward natter, or absolving yourself from a potentially uncomfortable conversation.