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Swine Flu Scanner review

Mark Mackay

We review Swine Flu Scanner, the easy way to diagnose and treat Swine Flu - sort of

Check you haven't caught swiney with this app

Published on Jan 15, 2010

The tabloid press doesn’t half love its flavors of the month. Whether it’s a tragic death, pending outbreak of some inconceivably gruesome disease – or even one that’s little worse than a common cold – they just love to cause a drama. It gets us flapping like headless chickens, which gets the copy sales up and keeps the money-spinning media machine afloat.

Swine Flu was a good example, and while it was a legitimate concern, it was little more than a regular flu that originated with bacon. We were getting told to self-diagnose and stay at home rather than see the doctors, if something was up. Thankfully though, you no longer have to self diagnose as there is now an app for that too.

Swine Flu scanner opens up with a thumbprint scanner, which is of course just an emulation of what one might look like. A picture of a thumb print hints that you should place your thumb in the centre at which point bars of green light run the length and breadth of the pad in order to ‘scan’ your thumb.

Using this simple process, Swine Flu Scanner will determine not only if you’re infected with the H1N1 virus but also the level of infection. Of course this is absolute nonsense, but you get the idea.

Next up, it’s time to talk to Dr Ham Funk who is, naturally, a graduate of swine science at the University of Mexico. A photo of Dr Ham is placed next to his graduation certificate so you can be ensured that you’re getting legitimate, top-notch medical advice…

Depending on your level of infection, different advice is given. The first time we tried the app we had a mild infection and so were recommended to wave at friends instead of handshaking and consider buying an isolation bubble suit. Sound advice.

Further advice is available in the experimental treatment section, which offers some funny text and animations for everything from shock therapy to positive thoughts treatment. Swine Flu Scanner is funny app and good for a laugh but the amount of content isn’t as high as many apps in the same bracket such as The Impossible Quiz. It won’t break the bank and it’s good for a laugh, but there are better-value comedy apps out there.