Top ten ugliest phones ever

Look away now if you are squeamish! We've decided to look at the ugliest, most hideous phone designs to have graced the earth. Just a glimpse of these eyesore blowers is enough to induce some sort of retinal bleed, and that's only in less severe cases.

It's true, looks are only skin deep but there's no excuse for having a mobile that would make Quasimoto look away in disgust. As the wise saying goes, you can pick your nose but you can't choose your face. You can choose your mobile, though.

Here are our - perhaps controversial - top ten ugliest phones we've ever had the misfortune of seeing.

Vertu
If somebody gave us a Vertu handset we'd probably keep it for a day, before putting it on ebay to raise funds for a Porsche 911 or a Morgan Aero 8. However if somebody gave us this abomination we'd catapult it back at such a velocity time would inevitably go backwards.

It's definitely a contender for the ugliest phone ever and it's not just its looks that have us running for cover. It's a Vertu phone, which means it's worth more than the average annual salary by double so not only do you look like you are blind, you're also financially inept, too.

Dual LCD phone
One screen is so last year, people. You need two as the Dual LCD handset demonstrates!

Apart from managing to look less enticing than the interior of a turkish prison, it doesn't even have a name, which would suggest a series of 'mysterious' deaths befell its design team before one was decided.

Virgin Lobster
Even Sir Richard Branson can get it wrong, as Virgin cola and the Virgin Lobster smartphone prove with impressive enthusiasm.

We're not sure why it has a weird growth on the right side or why Virgin even released it. Its name choice is just unfathomable, too. Even a splodge of red down on the keypad and up past the screen can't save us from needing to bleach our eyes. It's, wait for it, Virgin on terrible.

Nokia 7600
Is it a phone? Are we trapped in a Nintendo employee's nightmare? Whatever the case, Nokia was clearly trying push the envelope with the 7600. Unfortunately, the envelope has been entirely shredded during its creation.

It's not ergonomic, it's grey and we wouldn't want to be seen dead holding one - and those are its good points.

Nokia 3620
We've often wished our mobile looked like our house phone and it looks like Nokia overheard our imaginary call. The Nokia 3620 combines a square top and an oval bottom with devastatingly horrendous results.

Even a coating of a royal blue can't save this handset from causing severe eye trauma.